The BeLovED.

My Mum

2009-05-09T10:12:00.000-07:00

I thank God for my mother. Though she's not perfect BUT My Mum IS THE BEST!

My mum...

She always asked me how i did after my exam, when i told her 'i don't know' she will always replied " as long as you did your best!" and that motivate me to do the best i can (or i want).

she always make sure I'm properly dressed when i go out...especially during teenage years, my clothes tend to be shrinking & translucent.

She always make sure I'm home...curfew? what curfew?

She always come into my room wanting to chat but i'm snoring right there...she keeps talking anyway!

She knows that I'm lazy to eat my apples...she will peel,cut into slices and shove it into my mouth.

She has a chubby tummy...and i always lie that...so comfortable!

She always thinks i only have 3 boyfriends before i got married...hmmn...let's keep it that way!

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most importantly, She loves me and always there for me!

I love you, mummy!

Happy Mother's Day!

Battling within...

2009-04-12T17:26:00.000-07:00

Today is Easter...most shops are closed including Macy...hmmn???

Anyway...

We brought Kai to a park near our place...we sat there while kai went 'exploring'. Everywhere we could see groups of people having BBQ, playing Easter egg hunt, flying kite, lying on the grass sleeping, etc...just friends hanging out.

*Envious*

Me & Ian...no friends...kinda sad...missing our dear friends in Perth...wishing we could be there right now...hanging out in South Perth or somebody house...BBQ Aussie sausages & chicken wings...

Friends Vs. Comfort - our own house, lot's of 'our' time & having just enough

Who wins? Go back? Stay?

???

Contradiction.

2009-01-26T10:18:00.000-08:00

Have you ever wish that you don't have to work yet have a lot of money to buy whatever you need/want? What about eat/snack + without any exercise and still have a fabulous body?

I do.

I too desire to have an intimate relationship with God yet not spending enough time at His feet...wish for answered prayer yet hardly utter any prayer...long for my family to be saved yet not interceding enough...want to be changed yet not doing anything different...aspire to make a difference for God yet I'm still staying at home!

My life is filled with contradictions!

2009.

2009-01-21T11:04:00.000-08:00

New year new beginning & new list of things to do...

1. Be Happy!

I'm human and still a work-in-progress 'masterpiece'. I believe that each of us has different issues to work on at each season of our lives and right now i need to deal with my insecurity & bitterness...

I refused to be robbed of my joy and being ungrateful of what God has blessed me...i tried so hard to do it at my own strength that i'm tired of 'fighting', is time to release to God and have HIM change me! His cross & grace is more than enough and His strength is made perfect in my weakness!

Pray.

2. Join a playgroup!

Being a S.A.H.M can be lonely sometimes and since I will be having my own car soon i will & i should join a playgroup so that...(i) I can get to know other mums (hopefully can make an influence for God) (ii) Kai can interact with other kids & not just pulling people's hair or using them to stand up (iii) it gives me a reason to dress up and not in my pj or sleeping robe all day! (iv) expand my world beyond home, church, library & grocery store...

3. Make friends!

Moving to San Diego from Perth two years ago hasn't been easy...leaving all my friends, my ministry, my career, my comfort zone and now so far away from my family in Singapore. I have been looking back and hanging on to 'things' and is time to move on.

People from our church are great, they are friendly & warm but they are just 'different' from what I'm used to. BUT i desperately need A friend (beside my husband)... someone to confide in when I'm struggling with issues, someone who will hold my hands up when i tired from 'fighting', someone who tell me off when I'm off track, someone who wouldn't judge me when she see my 'nakedness' and someone who will fight with me for chocolate cake...

I haven't been a friend to anyone in San Diego...i hide in my 'world' for the past two year and i realise that I need to spend more time & effort to be a friend!

4. Lose Weight!

I think a large majority of people's resolution involve loosing weight or getting healthy and that includes ME. I gained more than 35 pounds when I'm pregnant with kai and now he's out and almost a year old but the number on the weighing scale is still hoovering at the same region as before.

I need to come up with a feasible exercise regime that still allow me to eat my chocolatesssss!!!

Birth ----- Death

2008-08-02T00:42:00.000-07:00

I have this fear in me - Baby kai is suffocating while i'm resting and when i'm awake...he's gone! I'm still trying to 'let go' of the fear and trusting God to know what HE's doing!

I remembered i often jumped out of bed in the middle of night running beside the bassinet to check if kai is breathing; seeing his chest moving up & down bring me comfort...and i can go back to bed & rest (for a short while)!

Life is so fragile and no one really knows how many days a person will see on this earth (EXCEPT GOD)! Today we are living somewhere in the dash between birth and death.

It makes me think what have i done in the dash...Am i ready to meet God? Will i be ashamed to stand before HIM? Have i make the best of all the opportunities that God has given me? Have i changed for the better?

i dun think i'm ready at all.

I'm still living in the "if only..." and "I will serve Him after..."; i'm still contesting with all my struggles!!!

what's my point? hmmn...dun know! oh well...

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sigh

2008-07-27T08:59:00.000-07:00

Awesome = God

"His mercy has no bounds...
His love endures forever...
His grace is more than sufficient..."

Birthday gift = An answered prayer

Ever since we came back from Singapore & Perth, baby kai has been on a new 'routine'...he wakes up so often at night that i basically catch very little sleep!

I'm so exhausted yet i know is not his fault; he might be teething (we kinda guessed) and the discomfort just keeping him up. Now he's chewing & biting everything that his little hands get hold of!

The night before my birthday, i knelt before his bed while patting him i prayed to the LORD to have mercy on him AND me....and you know what, Kai slept SO well & soundly! How wonderful is that.

BUT...

i was awake waiting for him to be awake! *sigh*

"You of little faith, Carol!" I did not trust God to answer my prayer at all and i missed the whole resting that God granting me on my birthday!

I couldn't sleep so i just looked out the window praising God...

Well, at least baby kai get a good rest!

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rem.i.nisce

2008-07-16T11:25:00.000-07:00

Baby Kai-en is NOW 5 month old! 5 months ONLY? It actually felt i have him longer than that...it must be the sleepless nights and the round-the-clock feeding!

Despite all the struggles, stress & responsibilities, we couldn't help but to fall in love with kai; we couldn't imagine our lives without him.

There's indescribable joy watching him growing into an individual every day! Each day of his life he makes countless deposits in the memory banks of ours.

remembering...

@ Birth
The contractions HURTS and the pushing takes lots of EFFORT!

Thank God, it took baby Kai-en only approximately 5 hours (since the first contraction till i see him) to pop out! The labor was so quick that our enrollment into the hospital wasn't even completed when the baby is out! *Phew*

Kai was out early in the morning on Sunday (sabbath baby); just 4 hours before his birth we were still leisurely packing our labor bag thinking that i have plenty of time. We were even planning to take a walk in a park near to our place. What were we thinking? Thank God we didn't if not baby kai will be born @ Park! Until the contraction become more frequent & intense then we decided to go straight to the hospital...

when we reached the hospital around 2:45am, the nurse checked me and told me that i was already 5cm dilated!!! Not too long later....

Baby kai was born!!!!

All natural...NO epidural! i'm so proud of myself even though it was rather NO choice. *grin* The pain was so intense that i nearly strangled Ian; i grabbed him by his collar and keep telling him "i don't want this anymore...!"

Nothing touched the depths of my heart as the love i felt for Kai as soon as i held him in my arms.
The very moment he popped out, the delivery nurse brought him to me and i WEPT and the pain i went through just forgotten!

Anyway, we stayed in the hospital one night cos it was BORING!!! It was a BIG mistake...

@ first 3 months
It was TOUGH mentally, emotionally & physically! I thought I'm ready to be a mum after reading quite a few books on pregnancy & going for all the available pre-natal classes!

NO...!

Being a parent is harder than i imagine. Life would be easier if children came with a manual with step-by-step instructions! Got the baby, where's the manual? Anyone? OR even better God to answer every FAQ parents have. He's the creator who's in better position to answer than HIM?

Anyway, from birth till NOW challenges come one after another...it just doesn't stop! Being parents really train one to be Christ dependent and also mold one's character!

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ex.hil.a.rated

2008-07-09T13:36:00.000-07:00

Our 3.2 megapixel camera just failed on us without warning during our last few days in Singapore, thus we haven't been taking any pictures of kai since...

We've ordered a new camera from Amazon

and....

It has ARRIVED today!!!! Woohoo.....

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de·ment·ed?

2008-07-07T13:35:00.000-07:00

i dun know if this happen to all new parents but i seem to be suffering from dementia; a condition more often than not suffered by the elderly. Perhaps parenthood bring us to a whole new level; the start of deterioration of one's sanity...

I can't even remember what happened couple of hours ago (i.e.what time did i last feed Kai? Left breast or right? Did he feed well? Have he pooped yet?). I tried very hard to recall...

Blogging Reboot

2008-07-04T16:08:00.000-07:00

i think i shall start updating my blog...
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I'll start SOON!

Countdown to 2008...

2007-12-31T00:46:00.000-08:00

Less than 24 hours to 2008...

Have you achieve what you set to achieve in 2007? i didn't...not all of them, some it was fulfilled, some got side-tracked and some got ditched cos is just too hard.

My greatest achievement in 2007 is......I'm PREGNANT! hmmn...think about it is not really my achievement cos God gave me this miracle. Take two...

My greatest achievement in 2007 is....survive the pregnancy for the past 33 weeks!

I was wondering if 2008 brings new resolutions, new challenges, new opportunities? Or are we rewriting the same 'old' resolutions in a brand new 2008 diary? Are we still facing/fighting the same old weaknesses & habits? Are we dusting off the dust from the 2007 opportunities and making it looks new?

Anyway, yesterday is gone...today is a gift from God. No point dwelling on what i should have done but strive to achieve what God has planned for me today.

i believe to have one goal is better than none...I'm gonna start writing my 2008 resolutions!!! I know top of my list will be 'TO LOSE POUNDsssss BEFORE AL-FU'S WEDDING!' hmmn....how to achieve that is another story!

I'm excited to experience 2008...

what have i been doing?

2007-12-30T23:01:00.001-08:00

My previous post is dated September 26, 2007...more than 3 months ago. Wow, am I that busy? Hmmn...being LAZY is the only reason i can think of!

What have i been doing since my last post?

Went back to Singapore for 3 weeks...attended my brother's ROM (kinda wedding), ate a lot of my favorite hawker food (the unhealthy food), swallowed boxes & boxes of durian, spend time with my love ones (my families) & friends, gained many pounds *sigh* and etc...
my tummy becoming bigger & bigger week by week and now is just HUGE...the whole pregnancy have been well & smooth (Praise God) except for the first trimester when i feel nauseated at chinese food, the frequent backache now and the 'can't fit into my clothes' symptom...
We found out that we are having a baby boy. We asked ourselves what we want our son to be and we gave his name according to that. His last name we are keeping it as 'GOH' of course, his middle name will be 'Joshua' meaning 'Jehovah saves' in Hebrew and his first name will be 'Kai-En', 'Kai' meaning 'triumphant victorious' and 'En' meaning 'grace of God' in Chinese. We pray that him will grow up to be a victorious warrior for God who knows the grace of God...
Preparing for the arrival of the baby...getting the stuff necessary to accommodate the 'little miracle' in our tiny room...
Overwhelmed by the 'how to be a good parents?'...we realized that we will never be ready but just gotta trust in the grace of God daily to teach us to be good parents...

2007 is coming to an end very soon...it has been a trying yet fulfilling year for Ian & myself. We looked back and stand in awe at what God has done...the blessings, the testings, the highs & the lows, the character molding and the corrections.

HE remains faithful despite of our unfaithfulness; we questioned his sovereignty yet He remains patient & merciful...we grumbled at him yet He continue to bless us...we fought with our own strength yet He always pick us up when we fell...i cried He comforted me.

In the new year, we know there's gonna be challenges ahead of us...BUT we can be sure that my GOD will be with us!

I will stand on mountain high and wait in anticipation for the new things HE gonna gives us - the lessons, the blessings, the teachings, the disciplines & etc.

We wish ALL a blessed & joyous 2008!

Socceroo vs Ballerina?

2007-09-26T00:18:00.001-07:00

We went for the ultrasound yesterday...drank 32oz of water 60 minutes before the appointment time (0830hrs) and instructed not to empty my bladder! For a pregnant woman, that's a torture!!!

Anyway, the scan technician did all the measurements and check on the baby...heartbeat was 147bpm, the kidney is fine, the baby is 19 weeks, blood is pumping right, there's five fingers, no cleft lip (Praise the Lord), the spine look fine...now the biggest question - BOY or GIRL?

hmmn...arh.....so anxious to know....couldn't sleep well the night before...

and

the baby's legs were crossed during the scan!!!!!! *sigh* We did the pep talk, giggled my tummy, went for a brief walk to the restroom...hopefully by then his/her legs will be opened! No chance.....! Is a very modest baby, refusing to 'display'!

the nurse technician said she saw 'something' but couldn't tell for sure....so still a big ? whether pink or blue.

I will be traveling back to Singapore for 3 weeks and the next prenatal check is scheduled in a month from now. We'll try again then...stay tune & we'll keep you (my dear friends) posted!!!

Keep the guess going!!! I'm journaling all the guesses too...right now is kinda 10B vs 11G! We'll see...

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Countdown...

2007-09-21T11:48:00.000-07:00

3 more days to the Sonogram Examination and we'll know if we are buying more pink or blue clothings for our baby!

According to one website...if it's a boy:

You didn't experience morning sickness in early pregnancy >>> which I did!
Your baby's heart rate is less than 140 beats per minute >>> is more than 150 bpm
You are carrying the extra weight out front >>> hmmn...tough to answer this question cos i gained weight all around my waist!
Your belly looks like a basketball >>> not yet!
Your areolas have darkened considerably >>> private & confidential!
You are carrying low >>> i think so!
You are craving salty or sour foods >>> definitely sweet food! Chocolate & cream cakes...
You are craving protein -- meats and cheese >>> NOPE! is Carbohydrates!
Your feet are colder than they were before pregnancy >>> YES!
The hair on your legs has grown faster during pregnancy >>> Still the same!
Your hands are very dry >>> YES!
Your pillow faces north when you sleep >>> What the? I don't know!
Dad-to-be is gaining weight, right along with you >>> Don't think so since I'm eating my food now!
Pregnancy has you looking better than ever >>> always look good! But i think so!
Your urine is bright yellow in color >>> depends if i'm drinking enough water; usually pale yellow! ewee....
Your nose is spreading >>> huh???
You hang your wedding ring over your belly and it moves in circles >>> didn't try!
You are having headaches >>> NO!
You add your age at the time of conception and the number for the month you conceived and the sum is an even number >>> 28 + 5 = 33 (is odd number)!

So, what's your guess...? Please post a comment with your name & your guess! Would love to hear my friends' guesses!

Home.

2007-09-17T02:15:00.001-07:00

After 3 days in Los Angeles & 6 days in New York, it feels good to be home @ San Diego...it seems like ages but it was just 9 days since we been gone.

The first weekends, we were up in LA. It was the first time that Caleb and us were up at mum & dad's place together; dad decided to bring the family to watch the 'Wicked' musical @ Patages Theater. It was a phenomenon musical...love the plot, enjoyed the humor and was enthralled by the set. Highly recommended!

We flew out from LAX on Sunday night. It was supposed to be a 5 hours journey to NYC, instead we only arrived @ JFK airport in the late morning the next day (10 hours journey). All thanks to Virgin airplane mechanical problem and air traffic jam in New York side (the plane gotta detoured to Connecticut for refuel).

No or very little sleep on the plane...thus when we reached our apartment, Ian & I took a nap before venturing out!

Maybe not all parts of NYC but definitely Manhattan = human & vehicle traffic, noise pollution (car horns & police sirens), countless skyscapers, filthy subways...& etc. Despite of all that, we did enjoyed ourself...tired but fulfilling (at least we've been to NYC).

We ate the floppy & huge NY pizza, yummy street hotdogs with mustard, radish & ketchup... we took the confusing subways to everywhere and visited or see most tourist attractions in Manhattan - Central Park, Madison Square Garden, Empire State Building, Chrysler Building, Roackerfella Building, Union Square, Washington Square Park, Chelsea Market, Grand Central Station, Penn Station, Time Square, Chinatown, etc...all within the 6D/5N!

The highlights of the trip are:

cheap bargains @ Chinatown - street peddlers selling imitation branded goods (bags, sunglasses & watches). 'Rolex? Rolex?' 'Prada? Prada?' It was quite an experience walking through Chinatown!
I wondered why some would buy fake stuff? Isn't it better to buy a nice non-branded bag at the same price as a fake branded bag?

night time at Time Square - people are everywhere even at night...the intersections were filled with pedestrians & cars. The digital billboards are flashing everywhere fighting for attention.

watching 'Drowsy Chaperon' musical at Broadway - you gotta watch a broadway musical in Broadway NY. There's 101 musical/ play available in the theaters along Broadway street but 'Drowsy Chaperon' was recommended by Caleb who has watched the musical twice. I was skeptical at first but we really enjoyed the musical. It was funny and superb...
Highly recommended!

time spent with Ian 24/7 - priceless. Holding hands exploring the city...i LOVE my husband!

We visited or see most tourist attractions (only those which are F.O.C) in Manhattan - Central Park, Madison Square Garden, Empire State Building, Chrysler Building, Roackerfella Building, Union Square, Washington Square Park, Chelsea Market, Grand Central Station, Penn Station, Time Square, Chinatown,

Here's some photo we took during the trip:

check out more NYC photo in http://thebeloved2.multiply.com/

Miracle of Life...

2007-08-14T00:12:00.000-07:00

My belly is expanding day by day;
waistline is growing inch by inch...
though no one would guess by looking at me that I am pregnant (not yet);
the miracle of life has begun 13 weeks ago!

Every day the life inside me is growing...
I just hope he/she will grow in Christ-likeness -
hand that would reach out to the poor & needy;
feet that would lead people to Christ;
mouth that speak of Christ's love & grace;
heart that is filled with compassion.

I had my second Ob/Gyn visit just a week ago and did the second ultrasound...
we heard his/her heartbeat...strong & fluttering at 150-160 beats;
we saw images of him/her moving about...disliking the 'disturb';
his/her hand was above the head...as if he/she is waving to us;
we saw his/her tiny fingers & feet..at this I was welling up!

Thank God, I know the creator of this child and He calls me His beloved!

"You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in Your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed."
Psalm 139:16

Cruising.

2007-08-13T22:48:00.000-07:00

What are we doing when life is cruising along?

When we're go up the mountain...we pant for His [God] strength;
when we walk down the valley...we desperate for His grace & mercy.
when we reach a plateau...we get distracted with the many 'beautiful' things around us and our 'choice wine' [faith] get diluted!

God, forgive us...!

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As the deer panteth for the water,

So my soul longs after you.

You alone are my hearts desire,

And I long to worship You.

Chorus:

You alone are my strength, my shield;

To You alone may my spirit yield.

You alone are my hearts desire,

and I long to worship You.

I want you more than gold or silver,

Only You can satisfy.

You alone are the real joy giver

And the apple of my eye.

You're my friend and You're my brother,
Even though you are a King.
I love You more than any other
So much more than anything.

Guess What.

2007-08-06T11:47:00.000-07:00

Well Done, Shona....you have accurately deciphered my *wink* from my previous post!

Is really hard to contain the good news - I'm Pregnant and car-ian is going to be Parents by mid February next year! For those who knew and kept my secret....thank you, for those i didn't shared with, I'm just waiting for the safe time to announce. God can give, He can take away...within His divine will!

I'm coming to the end of my first Trimester and no sigh of the bulge yet...Jess, i did heed your advice, i took a picture when i first realized my pregnancy and will continue to do so for the coming months...

(No,is not the pregnancy bulge...is just my chubby tummy!)

Ian & I are more than excited...we are rather overwhelmed (the good & bad ways) with the whole thing of parenting. It can be daunting but from all (maybe majority) parents, they will think the joy supersede the 'pain'...

For the past weeksssss...i haven't been able to eat well; i have been feeling nauseated at the sight, thought and even smell of food. Bread, cereal, McNugget ,cheddar cheese & protein choc shake have been my 'best friends' for the past weeks. Night time is the worst, i feeling so hungry yet unable to swallow down a bite of Ian's chicken wing...arghhhh!

Pray unceasingly. i think the nausea-ness is passing and I'm slowly introduce back to food. I'm thankful...

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Suc.cess

2007-08-03T07:06:00.000-07:00

someone i know (an acquaintance) is doing very well in her home country; she appears in the newspaper & magazine, she's hosting a TV show, she's directing her own musical, she's successful in the eyes of many and Ian & I rejoice in her success!

Ian asked me "Did any of us pursue our dreams?" My first reply was "No talents...no dream to pursue!" Then as i pondered on it...it makes me think why do we (perhaps just me) only consider those who make it big in life successful?

True success in this life is doing God’s will to the best of our abilities. It’s important to understand that God sees success differently than the world does. He doesn’t look at how many magazine covers a person is on or how much money she brings home from commercial endorsements. God doesn’t care what kind of car a person drives, how big her house is or even if she owns a platinum credit card with no spending limit. All the power, money and fame in the world don’t impress God in the slightest.

Bottom line: If I want to become a success in God’s eyes, I should choose to surrender everything to Him and His will for my life! Joseph (in the bible) is the best example!

Perhaps....if God desire me to be a mum at this moment in my life, I'm successful in HIS eyes! *wink*

God does not lead me year by year, nor day by day but moment by moment...i just need to be sensitive to His leading! Listen & follow Him!

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Reflection (brief)

2007-07-27T01:12:00.000-07:00

29. Wow...it wasn’t too long ago I celebrated my 21st Birthday. Time really passes by quickly.

As I looked back, I'm just amazed at the journey I took. Though I’m may not be as successful as some of my peers but everyday I thank God for all I have…the journey HE’s taking with me and the countless grace of God through the years...

I would never have thought a girl (or wretch) like me...
who ain't pretty;
who has so many imperfections;
who hasn’t got much talents;
who doesn't come from a wealthy family;
who study in notorious neighborhood school;
who is a mediocre students;
who never travel out of Singapore & Malaysia (before 20 years old)

Will be able to…
know & marry a man who fears God;
earn & save enough money to study in Australia;
graduated from university with high distinction;
attained a good & exciting career;
travel & see many countries (in the past 9 years);
settle in San Diego, U.S. (Now)

Nothing of the above is by my own but truly the grace of God! "Grace is God's favor bestowed on undeserving people."

I didn’t search for God but HE found me 9 years ago and begins to pour his blessing into my life.

Never one day in the last 9 years have I regretted accepting Jesus…
He changed my life;
He fills my life with hope, joy, peace & love;
He's writing beautiful stories in my life everyday;
He's always there for me (in good & bad times).

Thank you, Jesus!

Last but not least, I’m thankful that I was born in my family. It wasn't perfect but I am who I am today party because of my mum & dad. Thank you Mum & dad for having me & raising me up. I love you both!

My past makes me who I am today! I once was ashamed of my background & past but I realized it uncovered God's amazing grace.

Happy Birthday, CaRoL!

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Thank you.

2007-07-27T00:37:00.000-07:00

Received a parcel from Perth...from my dearest friend @ Perth!

In the box...are my birthday presents; there's Agape latest t-shirt, 2007 Restoration Camp CD, birthday card & letter from AO & HF. I'm so delighted!

thank you for your ceaseless & priceless friendship!

The t-shirt is amazing...we are so proud to be once part of this awesome youth/young adult group! Memories will stay with us always...

Not only from my dearest pals...my husband bought me my present too!
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Durian! Though is frozen, I'm sure it tastes yummy...

I still remember my 2006 birthday vividly...it was at Joshua & Helene's place, it was meant to be a surprise but someone (i still remember who) let the cat out, i had durian & a squashes bouquet as birthday gift and all my treasured friends were there! Is in my 'memories-box'...

Is not the present...but the giver of the present! I don't care the price tag...I thank you for your love!

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FOOd Of LoVe.

2007-07-16T22:42:00.000-07:00

I have been craving for Singapore Laksa for the past 2 weeks; i searched for restaurants in San Diego that serve Singapore/ Malaysian cuisine. There's NONE, can you believe it?

I thought i will never taste Laksa till I return to Singapore. But...

Since last Friday, Ian's mum & dad are down at San Diego...they have been stocking our empty fridge with so many food that now is full; we are so blessed with their cooking (i.e. chicken rice, laksa, curry chicken, char siew & more to come).

Ian's parents know that I've been craving for laksa and today we had Laksa! It was so good & authentic...there's prawns, fishcake, & 'tau-bok'! What more could you ask for? who need restaurant when you have loving parents who can cook!

so blessed to have in-laws who love you...

Now, I miss my mum's 'yong tau fu'...

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fun.

2007-07-09T13:04:00.000-07:00

for 3 days last week i was babysitting baby Kiera; she's so adorable & passive, sleeping most of the time. what a life being a baby, sleep >>>drink milk>>>play>>> sleep. i can't complain i'm pretty much enjoying life at this period of my life!

I built this 'fortress' with pillow and she's so comfortable sleeping on our bed!
(ain't she cute?)

Samantha (Kiera's mum) gave me a dinning gift card as a token of appreciation; I didn't asked for any payment but she insisted. I'm free anyway and i love babies...is more bless to help than to receive help!

Anyway, the very day i brought ian out for a good meal @ Red Lobster since he has always been an awesome husband! We had a feast...lobster, king crab legs, scampi prawns & fried calamari!

we really enjoyed our night out, chit-chatting & gazing at each other while waiting for the food.

i just adore him!

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filled with love!

2007-07-03T15:25:00.000-07:00

is really nice to receive a phone call from HF...getting an update on her life and also the many great things happening in Agape. All praise to our God, the King of kings & the Mighty One!

I'm sure there will be more to come...keep digging, stand firm & look for sign of rain!

How nice if we have the special power of teleporting and bring us to Agape Camp and witness his great deeds among his people! Anyway, thank God for technology of video-recording; hopefully we will receive the camp resources and hear the awesome messages through his faithful servants!

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On Sunday, Ian & i celebrated our 7th years anniversary...is almost a decade since i knew him and the happy days are still counting. *praise the LORD*

Well, is not all bed of roses...we struggled, made mistakes, learnt from it and moved on.

i always thanks God for giving ian to me; a gift that i so dun deserve yet God gave it to me 7 years ago. i treasured him more than anything and loves him more and more each day...

We were up at mum & dad's place to help them move, watch their choir performance and also celebrate our anniversary.

Saturday night, we went to this Szechuan Restaurant for our anniversary, unfortunately me not feeling too well to enjoy the sumptuous dinner.

Sunday, we went to mum & dad's church; mum & dad are performing in the choir for U.S Independence Day. It was good...everyone is either wearing red, white or blue!

Just before me & ian head back down to San Diego, mum brought me to Ralphs to pick my roses...it was beautiful! *thank you, mum!* Is a gift from mum on behalf of my dear husband!

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Anything. Whatever.

2007-06-21T12:36:00.000-07:00

is so funny...very Singaporean concept...anything lah & whatever lah for everything, including canned drinks!

check this out >>>

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2007-06-14T12:17:00.000-07:00

it has been a while...

Met up with Jade briefly yesterday. A very nice feeling to see someone from somewhere i love - Perth!

yea, she's still as tall and gorgeous as before...

Is amazing to hear what God is doing in her life and the awesome plan God has for her as she get back to Perth! two more weeks to her graduation and hopefully we can make it up to LA!

another DraMa..mama!

2007-06-06T14:51:00.000-07:00

Ian: Don't leave...I'm sorry!!!

Caleb: You evil brother, let go of my leg!!!

And Caleb is gone. We drove him away...
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Nah, he's having fun @ Singapore right now. He's having his summer break now till August; what a good life being a teacher huh.

I'm sure he will miss his companion 'vo-vo'!

the house is quiet without him...for another 2 more weeks!

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misunderstanding...

2007-06-06T14:31:00.000-07:00

I had a long chat with mum & sis...being updated as to what's happening at home, the usual stuff (good & bad) but we started talking finding a 'good' boyfriend for my sis.

My mum passed this comment "Not all 'ah-men' (means Christian in carol-mum's language) are good...my friend such and such, blah blah..."

why all 'carnal' Christians are my mum's acquaintances? Where's the rest??? I do agree that not all so call 'Christian' are good but ones who love, know, follow & fear the LORD are 'different'.

I seem to be unable to communicate effectively what i wanna say to my mum, especially when it comes to religious topic. I need to brush up my mandarin! There's so many misconceptions she had on being a Christian...

I just gotta keep praying that a divine appointment - a true follower of Christ, will ring my family's doorbell.

'taste and see that the LORD is good..." Psalm 34:8

those who give God a chance will taste & see God's goodness! I guarantee and testify to that!!! Christianity is not a religion but relationship with GOD. I used to be taoist...is mere religion, there's never a relationship...we never taught to call Buddha our friend.

hopefully, one day they will see the truth & experience the freedom...

Baptism.

2007-06-03T16:09:00.000-07:00

Last week we were up in mum & dad's place and attended their church; we kinda missing our Church. We were just saying if we were to go back to Australia now, the thing we will miss most in San Diego beside Caleb will be the Church (the people of Existence Church). Everyone is truly awesome!

Today is a special Sunday, not only the church is having the monthly communion but also Baptism. There's 6 people getting baptized; of one is our dear friend, Devon.

Christian baptism is an outward testimony of what has occurred inwardly in a believer’s life. Christian baptism illustrates a believer’s identification with Christ’s death, burial, and resurrection. It is an important act of obedience. Baptism is NOT necessary for salvation!

I remember mine, 7 years ago...it changed my life as a Christian!

Our heartfelt congrats to Devon for taking the critical step in her Christian journey. The lovely thing is that she being baptized by her boyfriend (Geoff) who brought her to Christ a year and a half ago. What a special memories that they could shared with their kids! Nice...They are just an amazing couple; they love giving each other surprises and each time is better than the last. So much energy & love...! We just enjoyed having them as friends.

The weekend is almost gone but with anticipation that the coming week will be just an awesome. Is not what we do but who we are with that matters...

Good Laugh!

2007-06-01T01:32:00.000-07:00

Every Thursday, we go for our Couple's Lifegroup...this week, we are having 'Food & Fun' nitz. Food always break down the ice, always offer good opportunity to fellowship...and we just enjoy it! And we did...

We decided to have 'Asian Taste'...so carian cook kitsune udon soup noodle, Paul & Stephanie brought sushi & lettuce wrap (aka 'Sheng Cai Bao'), Albert & Rosa make/ bought friend springroll & curry chicken and Andrew & Alison make dessert (it was so yummy).

The Japanese fishcake & kitsune (sweet beancurd) weren't that popular; the texture wasn't what the Americans like (according to Caleb). Some did attempt & did like it...oh well, I will suggest other type of food (i.e. Italian, American, Mexican, Breakfast or etc) the next time!

After dinner, we played 'Scattergories', Couple's Q & A (see how well you know your partner) and lastly we played an truly amazing game; is hard to describe but we end up looking like this >>>

Ian & I really enjoy this group...everyone is nice and genuine; we can see friendship starting to form in this group! Everyone just ain't afraid to let their guard down and show our ugly & disgusting side...

Before i came over to San Diego, i thought it will be hard to make friend (because they are different) but i think i just gotta 'let go' and be their friend huh.

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zOOm Zoom zoOm!

2007-05-31T18:06:00.000-07:00

What's the car for a true bachelor that is not too expensive, nice & stylish? Mazda Miata, of course! Is Nice...

Ian has missed the 'boat'...he's married and can't afford to indulge in such luxury item! Caleb a true bachelor, no wife to support and got himself a nice sporty Miata @ February 2007!

Caleb needed some Miata's pictures to update his website. Check out some pictures that i took >>>

Ian & Caleb...(look alike?)

Check out the 2 drama kings...
Funny!!!
Our car (Mazda 3) looks like a giant truck beside Caleb's Miata!

In sickness & in Health...

2007-05-24T13:05:00.001-07:00

Running nose, fever, aching body, sharp & throbbing headache, feeling cold...just miserable! I slept the whole day yesterday...still miserable.

Ian came home from work, help me with the dinner. Poor him! Gotta take care of me after his long day at work plus he didn't get to spend time with me, he gotta watch soccer alone, no kisses from me and seeing me so miserable.

I felt so miserable being so miserable...!

the power of a praying husband...his prayer, his TLC, his foot massage, his 'tucking-me-in', his everything just make me feel much better today!

Thank you, honey bunches!!!

The power of love to change bodies is legendary, built into folklore, common sense, and everyday experience. Love moves the flesh, it pushes matter around.... Throughout history, "tender loving care" has uniformly been recognized as a valuable element in healing. ~Larry Dossey

Great Memories...

2007-05-21T12:35:00.000-07:00

Saturday night, the lights were off and Ian & I were cuddling under the blanket recollecting all the great memories we have in Perth...the short holidays we had, the chinese restaurants, the fine-dinning restaurants, the fish & Chips place, the beautiful beaches, the many great friends we made, South Perth foreshore, etc ...

Conclusion: We miss Perth!

If ever we go back, it will be different...

I gotta stop allowing my recollections of the past and speculations about the future create a barrier between me and the present moment? Every new day, bring new beauty...enjoy, fully living & experiencing this moment I have before it slips away!

"One way to get the most out of life is to look upon it as an adventure." -William Feather

A Best Day Ever

2007-05-18T00:38:00.000-07:00

I was feeling a little blue today...maybe the 'nothingness' has get to me AGAIN and I'm desperate for the touch of God.

I refuse to get out of the room, to do anything but to soak in God's presence...Read the bible, listen to the music playing at the background; I just can't utter any prayer.

God reminds me of HIS great love. Love without reason; there's no 'why' in his love. I 'm nothing but filthy rags, HE chose to love me...

His assurance of love gave me strength & joy for today. Thank you, LORD!

A new day has dawned. And with it, countless new positive possibilities have been born.
Certainly there are difficulties and obstacles in your life and in your world. Yet they are always outnumbered by your blessings.
Focus today on those blessings. Give your attention and your awareness to what's right with life.
Those who wish to control you and to take advantage of you will seek to fill your thoughts with fear and discouragement. Yet there is really no reason for you to be fearful or discouraged.
For life is not what someone tells you it will be. Life is precisely what you make it.
By focusing on the good things, on the positive possibilities, on your blessings and opportunities, you can make life truly magnificent. A new day has dawned, and you can choose to make it the best day ever. - Ralph Marston

She [Mother] deserves it!

2007-05-13T01:11:00.000-07:00

It has been 7 years that I celebrate Mother's Day...no chance when I'm in Australia; I'm either studying or working. I wish I have the gift of teleporting...

Every mother deserves this special day!

This year is special, Ian get to celebrate with his mum (my mother-in-law), we brought her out for a delectable lunch buffet @ Barona Casino
Then we went to Torrey Pines beach to catch the last glimpse of sunset.
I called home a day later to wish my mum and to find out what present she got from me. She chose for herself a bedsheet set and some clothes, though the clothes not to my taste but as long as she's happy, I'm happy! I really wish i could fly back...

Father's Day is appraching...i better not be last minute (my sis has warned me)!

Ian's BirThDay...

2007-04-24T17:50:00.000-07:00

I'm sure Ian is gonna remember his first birthday in San Diego; the car ran out of gas (we are trying to push the gas limit) while we are driving to a Hawaiian BBQ place for his birthday and a police car is right behind us!

The police officer approached our car and Caleb (innocently) opened the door wanted to get out of the car to see what can be done. The police officer was annoyed and slammed the car door back. The police officer later explained that is not a wise thing to do when a police officer is approaching the car, thinking a 'criminal' is trying to run or attack him (lesson learnt!).

With the police officer help (me steering and Ian & Caleb pushing) we pushed the car to the side (away from the junction). Thankfully we are close to the eating place, we decided to eat first (3 hungry people) and solve the car thing later.

After lunch, Ian bought a gas can plus a gallon of gas which is more than sufficient for us to drive the car to the nearest gas station.

What a drama but Happy Birthday Ian!

Revamp the house!

2007-04-20T15:51:00.000-07:00

Josh & Kim (our pastor in San Diego) just got their key to their 'new' home. God is good and His love endures forever and He never withhold good things from those whose walk are blameless and Josh & kim are awesome people!

Yesterday, we went over to their place, bought KFC for them for dinner and offer to lend a hand in the renovation work. Wow, huge job - rebuilt the kitchen cabinet, scrape the carpet underlay, tiling, plastering, painting, etc. We only did the scraping bit and my hands are aching oredi. *lousy woman*

Though is not done yet but i can visualize the new home as Josh was happily & proudly telling us what is going to be like. Unbelievable...

I realize that we are all like the house...so much transformation work needs to be done but God see not the now but the potential in us and HE takes delight in us. Take joy as the Lord plunge the hammer into the walls (walls of stronghold that we built over the years) , tears the old carpet to reveals the beautiful wood underneath (the layers of mask that we put on to cover the real us), plastering the wall (restore our soul) and etc.

The Lord is going to take pleasure in it and be honored...

Love you...love you Not!

2007-04-20T15:14:00.000-07:00

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with truth.
It always protect, always trust, always hope, always persevere.
Love NEVER fails...(2 Corinthians 13:4-8)

I read these verses so many times and I memorized it...when I read today's Daily Bread I realized that I actually have not love enough (my husband, my family & friends). For trivial matters, we argue, we shouted at each other, we fight...we stopped talking to each other! To love is tough huh or rather IMPOSSIBLE (with our own strength)!!! Our love is so imperfect!

We take great measures to obtained faith and increase our knowledge in Christ (read books, listen to great sermons, pray & ask God) but the bible says "if I have a faith that can move mountains but have not love, I am nothing." Shouldn't we ought to learn to love?

It just prompted me to examine my actions - if I have love? If not, everything I have done is in vain and amount to nothing!

Happiness...

2007-03-29T13:06:00.000-07:00

I was reading a magazine and I read this writing by a German scholar Stefan Klein:

Things per se cannot bring you happiness at all. It is only the 'experience' of possessing something that can trigger an emotion. So possession can trigger happiness, but only as long as that experience having a bigger car is new.

I sure think that the experience of buying a car triggered my emotion - a feeling of anxiety & insecurity and excitement (sometimes). Over the last 3 weeks, Ian & I have been searching for our possessions - car & cellphones. The thought of buying the two things are kinda exciting but yet daunting; the thought of our bank account being drained (plus me not working now just doesn't help at all) and afraid that we buy a 'lemon'...HOW?

For some (especially the rich & famous) perhaps the experience of possessing something will made them happy (for a while at least) till they find something newer and bigger. The chase of happiness for the rich made the Porsche/ Ferrari/ Lamborghini's owner even happier!

Most of us (the not so rich & famous), we need to find our everyday bliss...the smaller, day-to-day occurrence like seeing the 'morning hairdo' of the special someone, the smelly breath you smell when you kiss him 'good morning', the walk you take with him in the evening, the 'thank-you' you hear when he complimented your cooking, etc...

I'm happy...

Think of all the beauty still left around you and be happy.
This is the day that the Lord has made. Let us rejoice and be glad in it.
There is only one happiness in life, to love and be loved.

e-blab

2007-03-21T10:42:00.000-07:00

one of my daily routine is to check out my friend's blog and get inspiration as to what to write as at times i just can't put to words what I'm thinking or experiencing... and of course, is nice to be connected with friends and know what's happening in their lives.

I was reading Jimmy's blog and some things that he said just echoed "We too!" in my heart...

Leaving a place of familiarity (FGA & Perth) is daunting and it takes a while to 'recover' ... and Ian & myself are 'adjusting' ourself well by the grace of God and the church. From leaders to members somehow feel kinda weird, like Jimmy said is rather a humbling experience and i believe HE is bringing us to a new level of worship - without title and due responsibilities. From being the majority (asians in a 99% asian church @ FGA) to being the minority (asians in a predominantly whites church) is somehow adventurous (???). As we were telling Josh (our Pastor @ San Diego) about our struggles being the minority and he said these " We (the whites) dun really see you (the asians)as the minority, but if I'm the minority, I'll sure feel the majority ..." It makes sense!!! Put the same principles in a Christians & non-Christians setting, at any church event is normal for the pre-believers to feel the 'pressure' as they are the minority...resolution? Yes, make the pre-believers the majority in all church event! what a simple but yet hard solution...*where am i?I think i lost my point*

Started joining the church for 5 weeks now and we are blown away by the passion and the commitment of the core members of the church...The stories began when the church first started (year 2003), Ps Josh & Ps Shaun worked two jobs while running the church in order to keep it going, Josh & kim (newly wed then) will dig into their savings to pay for church bills & expenses and when God called them to get (lease) a building, the church (not many people then) were raising funds & for nights doing painting, striping the floors and 'flipping' the old paper warehouse! Is just amazing & encouraging to see where the church is at now! Also, the stories on how people started coming to church by the simple things the church do - i.e. give out water bottles on the street and clean up he community once every quarter & etc is 'wow'!!! God's grace & favour is indeed upon the church!!!

Hocks (our youth pastor @ FGA) said before that we should position ourself to see God move & be used by God, and we think the Existence Church is the place to be at @ this season of our lives. To grow, to serve & reach the city and to be transformed...

We Exist...

2007-03-21T00:44:00.000-07:00

We were invited for dinner with Ps Josh & Kim and Geoff & Devin @ J&K's place...we had such a great time sharing and getting to know these group of people. They are so awesome and they made our existence @ San Diego easier...

We are so blessed to be able to learn from this awesome couple and grow together in our church @ San Diego (The Existence). Josh always mentioned that the church is not perfect but we are learning..and that makes us (the imperfect ones) fit right in.

Exciting to see how God explodes in this church...

Fair or not? Whose call?

2007-03-14T15:01:00.000-07:00

If you have been doted by parents since young (i think), pampered by boyfriends when dating and now love (continuously) by your husband...is hard to know what's is like to be unfair!!!

When you get it more most of the time, you don't complain but when you see (or you presumes) someone gets more than you, you shouts "Not fair..."

Who should hold the standard of fairness? i often think they (not supposed to say who) ain't fair, that's according to my standard of justice, which is going to be inconsistent (vary all the times). In fact, God holds the standard of fairness which is absolute!!! If I'm able grasp this truth, I will desist from fighting for people to adhere to what I think is fair.

The weakness of envy, jealousy & bitterness keeps appearing at my doorstep...I 'welcome' them into my house and watch them bring turmoil to myself >>> chase them out (for a while) and the cycle continues.

Something from my pastor speaks to my heart: "Don't let the devil steals from your well of joy and negate the many great things God has done in your life...". I have allowed the devil to steal from me instead of praising God & rejoicing at what i have...

God is a fair judge...even the world treats you unjustly HE will rewards those who earnest seek HIM and trust God to provide...

STOP FIGHTING
START PRAISING!!!

Dinner for two...?

2007-03-12T21:58:00.000-07:00

We had stew beef for dinner...looks good? I cooked the beef with carrots & potatoes for more than 2 hours and Ian love it! So, I'm officially graduate from stew beef class. Yay!

what next to learn? Maybe I'll try meat loaf...*grin*

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Ian want to get me a scooter so i can go around (shopping, library, bank, grocery store & etc) while he's at work. We have been looking around for a cute & affordable one...check this out, isn't this cute?

Mission Bay Park

2007-03-11T15:58:00.000-07:00

Weekends is "Carian-day" and we get to google for places to go. The criteria for the chosen destination - it has to be in vicinity (<>

Mission Bay Park is the largest man-made aquatic park in the country, consisting of 4,235 acres, approximately 46% land and 54% water. The park offers a wide range of recreational activities including paths for walking and jogging, and playgrounds for children. It is one of San Diego's most popular locations to fly a kite, picnic or sail a model yacht.

To save money, we pack our lunch from Ranch 99, it cost us only US$4.26 (incl Tax) for two-dish meal plus fried rice (see left) and is super yummy!!! What a bargain huh...

We walked and sat down looking at people flying kites; it was a perfect day for kite flying... i just lie on the grass, watch the kites in the blue sky and enjoy the moments with Ian. It feels like 'foreshore' once again...

Almost sunset...we drove to Mission Bay Beach which faces the Pacific Ocean. Whoa, the experience is totally different...the beach is packed with high schooler (it must be spring break...); girls in their bikini and boys topless (Ian & me are freezing) and the surfers chasing the waves.

We walked along the boardwalk enjoying the breeze and munching away our snack (actually only me *grin*). The beach houses along the boardwalk are so nice...one even has a heated spa facing the ocean (actually, everyone will be looking at you as they walk pass...)

Took a few pics of the sunset...is beautiful. "God performs wonders that cannot be fathomed. Miracles that cannot be counted..." Job 9:10

Another brilliant day @ San Diego...final shot of us >>>

Housewife or housefly?

2007-03-09T01:12:00.000-08:00

If you asked me what's my ambition a decade ago, i will tell you instantly that I want to be a full-time mum and housewife. Don't ask me why...*shrug*

Ever since Ian started working, my life as a housewife is rather humdrum...

I will wake up & walk Ian to his car, say my goodbye, return to my bed and sleep till 9:30am or later. After my beauty sleep, I'll have my breakfast while watching Tyra Bank show (she's cool...) and then spend time with God. Afternoon, I will either go to the gym, collect mails and/or ironing. Then around 4pm, I will get ready (make myself pretty) and wait for Ian to return home.

What a life. I should be the envy of many woman yet...*i dun know*

Family Planning 101...

2007-03-08T23:30:00.000-08:00

518 days to Beijing 2008 Olympics and that's mean 506 days to me turning 30! Wow, it feels like just yesterday that i celebrated my 21st birthday. Age is catching up and my biological clock is ticking... As the decade progresses, a woman's fertility goes into free fall. That's why fertility experts caution women in their 30s not to wait too long, particularly if they want more than one child...

(Pregnancy rates over the course of one year)

Using the fertility calculator from this awesome website (http://www.babycenter.com), I calculated that if we want a 'piglet' (not at all am i superstitious) I have till next month to conceive...*pressure is up and now we gotta work doubly hard*

We acknowledge that every child is a gift & blessing from God and if we 'bingo' we'll praise the LORD, even if God choose to close my womb we will still praise Him...then maybe Ian will allow me to get a dog *grin*.

Everyday, i'll just spend an hour or so to do my due diligence...how to get pregnant & how to be a healthy mum. For the rest, I'll leave it to God!

Another day...

2007-03-06T02:02:00.000-08:00

Today is Ian official start day for his work at LifeCare Center Escondido...I'm left at home to wonder about my 'season' in San Diego.

My mum has been pestering me to be pregnant...of course, i want to but it wasn't as easy as she thinks. And yes, we are trying for BABY! Before i have a baby, what can i do in the meantime? Volunteer work? Work experience? Read up to be a mum? Sleep & shopping?

I believe that in all seasons God calls me to be fruitful but "What is God's plan for me in San Diego?" and "What can I do?". I'm still searching & waiting for an answer...

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It has been a while that I'm on multiple msn catching up with my friends in Perth. The timing is just not right and is difficult to synchronizes our time to chat online(my day is their night and when I'm free she gotta go for class...). But when i got the chance like today, it really makes my day!

"Friends help make this life a little better each day, moments with friends changed the day for me and made me look on the brighter side..."

Now, is 2:15am and I've just finished chatting with all of them and need to get my beauty sleep zZzzz...before i sleep had to try again calling my family on Skype but still no luck *sigh*

42 degree in Perth today, I'm glad I'm not there right now...San Diego is nice & cool (sorry friends didn't say to make you jealous). I remembered the summer nights in Perth is unbearable for me; can't sleep & nothing else to take off...and the skin keep peeling. In the day time, have to run to shopping center to take cover or just watch more movie...

something for you to laugh at >>> is me...

Beary-beary Magical...

2007-03-05T21:42:00.000-08:00

I've seen snow on television, read it in story books, hear from people's snow experience but never i thought to be so magical...I was a child again when I saw the snow!

Ian & me did the snowman (2 mini ones & one mid-size one), snow angel, snowball fight (is rather tiring to run on snow & i always get hit...hmmn???) and 'toyota' ad (our australian friends will recognise it; did that couple of time whenever we travel down south...).

We spent 2D1N at Big Bear Lake and everything in Big Bear Lake is perfect...the weather (God sent some snowfall just before we went up the mountain, thus we saved money from not requiring to buy snow chain for the car tyres and is not too cold for me...) the B&B place is beautiful (how i wish i had a place just like that...facing the lake with mountain at the background, fireplace in the room & a whirlpool inside the room with view to the Lake) and food is affordable & yummy.

Before the whole U.S. thingy, ian & me are planning our honeymoon @ Europe...the trip to Big Bear Lake is just a preview of our honeymoon. Maybe our good pals could be with us for their honeymoon (i suppose is 2008...) double date @ Europe? It will be real fun...if only!

Enjoy some of the pictures we took...

"the mountains, the snow, the place & the weather is magnificent but what unseen (the creator) is even greater..."

What a Day...

2007-02-26T16:11:00.000-08:00

San Diego, California is supposed to be the America's finest city...We've been at U.S. for almost two months, we haven't been to the 8 beaches that are located in San Diego. hmmn...???

Last Saturday afternoon, we decided to drive along the coastal route and see some of the nearby beaches. We visited 2 beach - Torrey Pines & Cardiff-By the Sea.

Is really magnificent...the vastness of the Pacific Ocean and hearing the waves crashing. Just so blessed to be able to see His creation and share the moment with someone... Before that, I was so reluctant to go out *wanting to stay at home & do nothing* but I had a such beautiful time...

When you wake up cherish that moment
And thank god for another breath of life;
When you look in my face, cherish that moment
And thank god that you have the ability to
See me; speak to me and the ability to touch me;
When you have a good friend cherish the moment
Because in the blink of an eye that special
Someone can be taken from this earth; never
Waste your energies on fighting and not speaking

To a loved one, whom ever it may be, always cherish the moments you have together
Because when you turn around and see
The hands of time cannot be turned back those are moments lost forever.
Never take for granted what you have

Because tomorrow is never promised, so,
Take time to cherish every moment.

~By Vernonica Allen-Anderson

Little piggy went to work...

2007-02-21T13:33:00.000-08:00

My little 'piggy' (Ian) went for his work orientation today...he had to leave the house before 7am to avoid the traffic. I got up to make him breakfast and packed his lunch...

The little piggy forget his lunch...oh no, he's going to be hungry when he comes home!!!

Time to exercise...

2007-02-21T12:22:00.000-08:00

Been back for just slightly more than a week, we have been eating Panda Buffet, Home Town Buffet, Dim sum and steamboat during Lunar>>> New Year...i think is time to exercise!!!

Last Saturday, got up early (no choice, jet lag still) we decided to try out this exercise class - kettlebell. Whoa, it looks easy but i 'threw my 'white towel' after just 10 minutes; I sat out for the rest of the class while Ian battling with his muscles.

The next day, we couldn't move...our muscle ache so badly and I only did less than 10 minutes *poor Ian*. The ache lasted for the next two days...

On Monday night, Caleb wanted to give kettlebell a try (apparently it sound fun to him) and Ian joined him *definitely without me*. Even gym fanatic like Caleb found it tough...phew, Im not that bad *no, he didn't give up like i did*.

Ok, no more kettlebell, let's try YOGA then...The whole room was filled with Yoga-enthusiast and me & Ian just manage to squeeze in. It was actually fun and do-able *for me more than Ian this time*
Well, at least I get the exercise regime started again...

Blessing in Disguise...

2007-02-18T19:17:00.000-08:00

Skype home on the eve of Lunar New Year and been informed that my dad hurt himself while trying to 'fix' the refrigerator which should be thrown long ago; a rather unfortunate mishap on a supposedly happy day. A mishap or godsend?

Perhaps for my mum & family, this 'accident' is inauspicious but I believe there's a divine purpose for the happening. What if a bigger mishap would happen if he wasn't hurt? Maybe my dad realise the love from his wife (sometime it takes a mishap to realise what you have around you)? We can't see it, we can't guess it but we just gotta trust that God knows best (He see what we can't see ahead) and He's in control...

"Life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get." I just pray when trouble comes my way, I'm ready to take on the 'challenges' with the right attitude (FAITH).

Day of Love...

2007-02-14T16:49:00.000-08:00

Happy Valentine's Day
Every 14 February, across the country, candy, flowers, and gifts are exchanged between loved ones, all in the name of St. Valentine. Now the date is very commercialised & i think is over-rated. Price of flower went up more than 100%, restaurants & every corner is filled with 'lovey-dovey' couples...*tsk tsk*

I remember when I'm a teenager, I looked forward to this day where I will received gifts from my 'secret admirer' but most importantly I could express my 'interest' to the boy. Those time have passed and I'm glad that God has given me Ian who I can spend my valentine day everyday...sweet huh *grin*

7 years ago on this day, God shown His love to Ian with a miracle - getting into Curtin to study Occupational Therapy (a course which Ian could never get in with his own credit). A beginning of God's plan for Ian...

Therefore, 14 February...is not just for man to express their love but to remember God's love for all mankind. He didn't die for the rich & famous, nor the pretty & hunky people but for all! Because of His love & grace...I am found and I'm forever changed!

one of my favorite song >>>

All for love, a Father gave
For only love could make a way
All for love, the heavens cried for love was crucified

Oh, how many times have I broken Your heart
But still You forgive if only I ask
And how many times have You heard me pray
Draw near to me

Chorus:
Everything I need is You
My beginning, my forever
Everything I need is You...

"the more we understand God's love for us, the more we'll show to others..."

Our Journey (Part III) @ San Diego

2007-02-13T20:29:00.000-08:00

Back again at San Diego...still experiencing jet lag. Slept from 12:30pm till 7:30pm...how to sleep at night? hmmn...

We are still waiting for the US social security number before we could do anything (i.e. banking, driver's license, look for car, etc). Anyway, just thank God that we went through the US custom so smoothly even though we brought in food (i.e. pineapple tarts, chocolate love letters, almond cookies & etc).

5 more days to Chinese New Year...we'll miss *er, not really lah * the reunion dinner over the steamboat, all the 'dong-dong chiang' songs , the 'gong xi fai cai' greetings, the 'ang bao', the bright red decoration & etc. But is great & honour to be a Chinese *grin*

We wish all a blessed Chinese New Year!

Our Journey (Part II) @ Singapore

2007-02-12T14:26:00.000-08:00

Testimony of God's goodness to us

Never did we imagine that the US Embassy in Singapore will reject our visa application. Everyone thought to be a easy process turn out to be our nightmare! What now??? We begin to explore all possible options: to return to Perth? to wait in Singapore for H1B visa? to stay & work in Singapore for good? to re-apply but leave me out of Ian's application so that has a better chance of getting the visa?

Everyday...every moments is a battle of faith.

Questions of 'how', 'what' and 'where' filled our minds. We have packed and left Perth, we have moved all our things to San Diego, Ian got a job waiting for him, our room is set up in San Diego...Why is the move so hard? Every step we take we'll meet with obstacle. Why?? Is our conviction an echo from our desire? Have we disobey God? What is He teaching us? We don't think we could have 'survive' the ordeal if not for His grace...

Faith is not just a state of mind , it should be demonstrated in our daily doings...

With the 'string' Ian's mum has with the US Embassy, we wrote in letters of appeal and still the case seem hopeless. We always say we trust Him...do we? Reinhard Bonnke mentioned about past & present faith and now is a 'test' of my present faith in Christ. Do I believe God could do the impossible in the present situation?

During my 'conversation' with FATHER, He reminded me of this verse "But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind..." James 1:6 I realised our 'tossing' is because we doubted God's capability to do beyond our imagination. From then, our perspective changed, we went again to the US

Embassy...having the faith to believe that God could turn it around, even if He didn't we will still bless the Lord. Miracle do happen to those who love the LORD...our V is a was approved without a hitch!!! How great thou art!!! Some would consider it as a pure of luck, or coincidence but we will testified to a divine intervention.

too fast too furious...

2007-01-26T15:54:00.000-08:00

Yea...praise the LOrd, I passed my California driving test! 5 mistakes in total with most of it on my speed (too fast & need to slow down). what the? who fast? Me??? My Perth friends who knows me will find it really weird...i think a granny will walk faster than i drive. Anyway, i passed...nothing to complain.

God is so good...apparently there's a short-circuit in the computer system at DMV (Department of Motor Vehicle); if i were 10 to 20min late i will be denied of taking the test today. Hallejulah!

Another step into the 'promised land'...by His grace alone.

Time-out @ Balboa Park

2007-01-25T21:22:00.000-08:00

What a beautiful day...blue sky and perfect weather @ San Diego Balboa Park - the nation's largest urban cultural park. It is home to 15 major museums, renowned performing arts venues, beautiful gardens and the San Diego Zoo (supposedly to be the best zoo in the world?).

Excellent day to exercise my photography skill but alas the battery was low, thus only manage to take just a few...

Our Journey (Part I)

2007-01-24T15:06:00.000-08:00

We have been @ San Diego for close to 5 weeks and the settling in was rather tough initially; not sure if we are to unpack our luggages and all the boxes from Australia, living off the luggages everyday, no proper bed to sleep, etc...but really consider it pure joy that we survive (grace from God).

We still missing Perth (we call it our 'Egypt') - the security of employment, the comfort from friends, the joy of serving in God's ministry and having the whole house to ourself whereby Ian could 'air-dry' himself...*grin*

5 more days before we head back to Singapore (AGAIN) to get the US visa on our passport...and I can see my family again & eat the yummy unhealthy hawker food plus all the Chinese New Year cookies *i can so see me running on treadmill once i come back to San Diego loh*

Call to persever & discipline...

2007-01-23T16:04:00.000-08:00

We had a date with Caleb (Ian's brother) and his good friend, Eric to Valley View Casino. Gambling? Of course not! We are there for the BUFFET!!!!

I was running on the treadmill for almost 30 minutes (mostly walking of course) plus 20+ minutes on a ski machine just to 'prepare' my body for this sumptuous meal.

It takes us almost 90min to drive up there; caught in the traffic jam, travel on windy road (almost make me puke)...but when you see the food (i.e. choc fountain, extensive range of cakes & pies, ice-cream, snow crab legs, mexican food, sushi, steak, etc...) is worth it, plus being my first visit to the casino they offer me a complimentary buffet so i eat for free. Good deal *grin*.

After the dinner, i know i need to get back to gym tomorrow and run for another hour. How to keep slim in this place? I really need self-discipline & perseverance...

My Inaugural Blog...

2007-01-21T16:11:00.000-08:00

All thanks to my dear friend - huifU...i'm persuaded to try 'blogging'. Journaling my thoughts is much easier than typing it down which requires me to write with the right grammar, right sentence structuring, right spelling (oh, i forgot there's spelling checker of course), right punctuation, etc... Anyway, i will give a try and see how long i can last.

I titled my blog "The Beloved" which according to Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines beloved as 'a person with whom one is in love'. I love the show 'Everybody loves Raymond' but that's not the reason i gave myself this title but rather I know I am loved (a great revelation that changes my walk with God).

I know I am the beloved of my dear husband (Ian), my mum & dad and most importantly my Abba Father...who love me no matter what i did, who i am, whether i'm skinny or fat, whether i'm pretty or ugly, whether i'm rich or poor, healthy or sick, etc.

The Father's love for His children is so great that He gives us the freedom to reject his love or love Him in return; sometime our choice of actions just pierce His heart.

Many of us (including myself) live our lives never fully sure that they are loved as they are. We search high and low for love & acceptance from wrong relationship, from career, from drugs, etc...not realising that we are already loved by our Father (God).

We all can be so deaf to the voice that call us 'His beloved' and continue to 'strive' to be the perfect one so that we will be loved. All the 'I need to be smart...i need to be cool...i need to be do this or that' or ' i wsh to be like xxx' are foolish discourse. WE ARE LOVED!

God touches me with HIS love (i never experienced in my previous 'relationship' (if there's any) with buddha). Since then i open my heart to be embraced by Him and my life has never been the same...

to finish off >>> "one word frees us and that word gotta to be LOVE and GOD is love..."