Contradiction.

Have you ever wish that you don't have to work yet have a lot of money to buy whatever you need/want? What about eat/snack + without any exercise and still have a fabulous body?

I do.

I too desire to have an intimate relationship with God yet not spending enough time at His feet...wish for answered prayer yet hardly utter any prayer...long for my family to be saved yet not interceding enough...want to be changed yet not doing anything different...aspire to make a difference for God yet I'm still staying at home!

My life is filled with contradictions!

2009.

New year new beginning & new list of things to do...

1. Be Happy!

I'm human and still a work-in-progress 'masterpiece'. I believe that each of us has different issues to work on at each season of our lives and right now i need to deal with my insecurity & bitterness...

I refused to be robbed of my joy and being ungrateful of what God has blessed me...i tried so hard to do it at my own strength that i'm tired of 'fighting', is time to release to God and have HIM change me! His cross & grace is more than enough and His strength is made perfect in my weakness!

Pray.

2. Join a playgroup! 

Being a S.A.H.M can be lonely sometimes and since I will be having my own car soon i will & i should join a playgroup so that...(i) I can get to know other mums (hopefully can make an influence for God) (ii) Kai can interact with other kids & not just pulling people's hair or using them to stand up (iii) it gives me a reason to dress up and not in my pj or sleeping robe all day! (iv) expand my world beyond home, church, library & grocery store...

3. Make friends! 

Moving to San Diego from Perth two years ago hasn't been easy...leaving all my friends, my ministry, my career, my comfort zone and now so far away from my family in Singapore. I have been looking back and hanging on to 'things' and is time to move on. 

People from our church are great, they are friendly & warm but they are just 'different' from what I'm used to. BUT i desperately need A friend (beside my husband)... someone to confide in when I'm struggling with issues, someone who will hold my hands up when i tired from 'fighting', someone who tell me off when I'm off track, someone who wouldn't judge me when she see my 'nakedness' and someone who will fight with me for chocolate cake...

I haven't been a friend to anyone in San Diego...i hide in my 'world' for the past two year and i realise that I need to spend more time & effort to be a friend!

4. Lose Weight!

I think a large majority of people's resolution involve loosing weight or getting healthy and that includes ME. I gained more than 35 pounds when I'm pregnant with kai and now he's out and almost a year old but the number on the weighing scale is still hoovering at the same region as before. 

I need to come up with a feasible exercise regime that still allow me to eat my chocolatesssss!!!

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